My Cat Has Gained the Ability to Speak and Fashion Rudementary Weapons

August 3, 1999

The refrigerator was acting up today. I opened the freezer and there was a bunch of melted water, which was odd enough, but in the back there was a hole I'd never noticed before. All I could see was a bright, shining red light. It was weird. It seemed like it was pulsing or something. Anyway, there was a lot of heat coming from the hole so I unplugged the fridge.

August 4, 1999

Came into the kitchen today and found Smoochers, my gray tabby, licking at a puddle of blue shit on the floor! I kicked him away and he ran into the bedroom. It looks like the stuff ran from the back of the fridge where the freezer is. Weird thing is that it's been unplugged for a day now and there's nothing on the inside. Gotta make sure to get the landlord to take a look.

August 8, 1999

Smoochers is acting kind of strange. He's been secreting a strange substance from his butt for a couple of days now. I took him to the vet but he said he looked fine.